Arguements with my Daughters

Why does it always happen?  Arguments with my daughters? Ha, well they say it's all about us, our arguing back.  It hits a trigger, and we go off, all mad and angry.  Sometimes we don't even listen to each others pain, we just attack back, another trigger.  All to hurt each other because we have been hurt. 
I wish we could just be love, just feel loved all the time.  Just feel whole, and warm and fuzzy, and joyful no matter what happens.  I wish instead of reacting, we could consciously act, consciously choose our actions in a loving, kind manner. 
And that's a whole different ball game.  We all react in my family, always did.  My parents did, my brothers did, my husband and I did, and now I do with my children.  I can tell you it is not fun, it's very draining, and I am trying to change it by walking away.  And, that's a hard one!!  When someone pushes your buttons, and insults you personally, it truly hurts.  It hurts because it triggers something deep down inside of us, some pain and emotion we felt back in our childhood that we never cared for.  We left that child and part of us walked away because it was too painful to bear.  But each time something happens and triggers that event, we act in anger or tears.  We don't even realize why we are hurting, we think someone else did it to us. If we stop, and go inside, and ask ourselves, "when was the first time I felt this pain?", an answer will come to us.  It will be an answer we may not be aware of, an answer of some hurt and pain that happened in our childhood that we repressed.  This is our chance to dive into the emotion, feel it, just be with it, and comfort that child somehow, to help integrate it within us. 
This is what I have been working on when it comes to me reacting to my children when they become hurtful.  I have many past memories of sadness and pain as a child, and I thought they have been released, but it appears not.  It's a process, such as life is, a journey back to the soul!
I love my children dearly, I wish they were young forever!  But they are not, they are grown now, ready to fly!  I should be happy and grateful that they were raised with enough independence to want that!  But, at the same time, it is sad.  I am divorced and am not dating anyone, so when they leave it will be just me.  Wow, just me, a place I thought I would never be, and never wanted to be.  I love myself and have lots of hobbies and goals, but I love people around, well, not people, FAMILY!  My family, the family I was born into, and the family I gave birth too!  And now I won't be able to live with them, I will have to live alone. 
Love and Blessings Always ~
Carol