Hello
I wonder how life is for so many people, how they really feel when they wake up in the morning? My heart aches from the sadness it feels when I hear another young adult "killing themselves!" It makes me feel like there is something I should do to help! Any of us, all of us, what could we do? We could surely start with just a simple smile, or even a "hi", or "hello". Reconnecting with a friend, a soul just like us, all one in the same, even if we have forgotten! We can never forget our brother, our sister, who are all only mirrors of ourselves! So, please my brother, be kind! There is a saying from Yoga, which my yoga instructor would chant at the end of every class, "May all beings be free of suffering!" So awesome, so powerful.
Okay, so enough of the heavy stuff! I took off, with my daughter and son, for a few days to Puerto Rico!! Oh my Lord, wow, was it absolutely wonderful, amazing!! Even through all of our trial and tribulations, and the issues we had, we were in a gorgeous place, on a cliff, overlooking the ocean!! And a free ride on the ferry of only ten to fifteen minutes, to your own private beach! Ahhh! Simply amazing! I haven't been away on a vacation to the beach since I took the kid ten years ago, after our divorce. And now they are 23 and 19, growing fast. I realize my time is coming close, too close fr me, for them to fly and spread their wings. They all want to move out and be on their own! I don't blame them as I did when I was only 18, away at College, and had one of the best times of my life! I wish my children could have had that experience. It is so sad what my ex took away from my children. So much they have to accept in him to be close, but they do and I a proud of them for that. They should hate him for ripping them away from their own mother by fighting for custody in the divorce. And for getting away with it because of who his brother was, Chief Detective of Thee Bergen County Prosecutors Office. I only could see them every other day during the week, and when I did, they could not sleep at my home, they had to leave my home on a school nite and go to his house to sleep!! They would cry for me at times, and he would rip them from my home, along with my ten year old son having to call 911 on him before. All with that going on, the Judge allowed him to have more custody than I, a stay at home mother they never left!! When we were first separated he decided to take the kids three days in a row, without seeing their Mother daily for the first time in their life!! So, when they came to my home for three days, they were so devastated they did not want to go to school in the morning! I cried for years when they were not with me, it was so horrible for me, such a sad time when I was without them alone, and always in pain. It is still sometimes hard to purge ahead, but that pain I will feel forever, and it forever hurts, and that's the part that stinks! It's very hard to "let go", many days I forget and live on, but when I remember, I cry, so much pain and sadness in my past.
On a better note, I do believe in miracles, and love!! I believe we can have whatever we believe we can have, and now I want it all! All for me is love, joy, peace, abundance, bliss, prosperity! I want my home on the beach and in the woods!! I want family and friends in my home visiting often and filling my home with love and joy! I want my nieces, nephews, and great nephews to have an awesome, amazing home to come to, have fun in, chill out in, and feel loved!! Ahh, my parents taught me well, about loving your brother, and always caring for and being there for them! And I am an author, I have just written a few children's books, am looking for an illustrator, and will be on my way to self publish! So excited I am, as I have been wanting to write my book for a long time, but just decided to change course, and write some kids books first! So, on my way to get done all that I need to!
Blessings to everyone,
Carol
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